Lesson learned? Eh, mebbe, mebbe not.

Lesson learned? Eh, mebbe, mebbe not.

I re-read this post just now because this quote came to mind and I knew for certain that I had written about it before, so I searched my blog. Coincidentally, it was almost exactly a year ago, and the number of connections between the circumstances surrounding what I wrote then and what I feel tonight is rather astounding. Does this mean that in a year, I’ve not grown or changed? I don’t think so. I think it means that I am still fundamentally the same person, but that I am coming to terms with things more readily, with less guilt and/or shame, and with more appreciation for what 32 gave me. This quote is still one that stands out in all of fiction, and one I find myself grateful for on a regular basis. I am surrounded by so much love, and I think I’m doing better at accepting, acknowledging, and reciprocating that love without feeling inadequate. That’s kind of a big deal. And so is this reminder:

“The great love is gone. There are still little loves — friend to friend, brother to sister, student to teacher. Will you deny yourself comfort at the hearthfire of a cottage because you may no longer sit by the fireplace of a palace? Will you deny yourself to those who reach out to you in hopes of warming themselves at your hearthfire?”

No, I will not. Thank you, little loves. You feel so big to me.

No more excuses.

You are all full of ideas that need to become realities; if you weren’t, I wouldn’t be as devoted to and in awe of you as I am. A friend just posted this on Facebook. Read it. Please. If it also leaves you a sobbing mess of pride and shame and fear and new resolve, you know your idea is The One, and it’s time.

My book *is* going to happen, and on my to-do list for tomorrow is the lucky pen and lucky notebook. This is me saying, “I’m going to build an airplane in my backyard.” Hold me accountable. So grateful for this, and for Rich, and supportive friends and family, and new opportunities that just keep coming, as if to says “What more do you need???” This, I guess, was the “more” I needed, and I just got it.