Fear, redux.

I’ve written so often about fear as the great controller, the strongest motivator, that reading The Four Agreements’s explanation of how we are conditioned by it from infancy makes me feel awash with gratitude for someone else’s words expressing this as a known fact, handed down through thousands of years of Toltec wisdom. Can these 130 pages also contain the tools for freedom from this universal plague of fear? While I am learning and growing and making different choices in many situations, fear still resides in every aspect of my life, and even when I either ignore it or best it with emotional logic or undeniable truth, it taunts and pokes and slyly discovers chinks in my armor through which doubt can be slipped almost unobserved.

I haven’t been doing such a great job with my gratitude jar this month. There have been so many challenges that overshadowed my ability to see the joys in my life every day. I can’t allow that. Appreciation for the beauty and love and abundance in life is one of the greatest obstacles of Fear, and only by shining that light deliberately and regularly can the darkness fear attempts to shroud me in be extinguished, or at least diminished.

Today I’m grateful for my brother and all the ways I see how he has grown in the last two years. I am grateful for my therapist, without whom this book might have stayed on my “to be read” list for who knows how long. I am grateful for the ways my efforts have enabled me to live without too much volatility even though I can’t currently afford the medication and supplements that have helped me with emotional balance. And I am grateful for love, because it is the teacher of all things. Through love, I have grown and changed and become and felt fulfilled.

What are you grateful for today?


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