Tired girl.

But content girl. Which is something I’ve not been in what feels like a long time. I’m sure the overdose of vitamin D contributed, but mostly it’s the presence of so much love from friends, and the absence of anxiety and concern and focus on too many sources of information.

Between new friends and longtime friends and friends in between, I’ve had to decline or suggest alternatives to multiple plans over the last couple of weeks. While I hate to do either, it feels good to know that my company is desired and appreciated, and also that I can say that I need time to recharge or hang with Joshua and they get it, and it’s okay. No hurt feelings, no resentment, just cheerful acceptance and meeting in the middle.

There’s a quote in one of Mercedes Lackey’s books in The Last Herald-Mage series, and I’ve read these often enough that I was able to lay my hand on the right book and turn to the right page in a matter of about 72 seconds. I’ve always found this passage powerful, but not until tonight did I realize that it was not only advice, but a rebuke, as well:

“The great love is gone. There are still little loves — friend to friend, brother to sister, student to teacher. Will you deny yourself comfort at the hearthfire of a cottage because you may no longer sit by the fireplace of a palace? Will you deny yourself to those who reach out to you in hopes of warming themselves at your hearthfire?”

I’ll write more about this elsewhere, but I wanted to share this as a reminder to myself that if I am less than content, it is largely my own fault, and to thank my friends and loved ones for visiting my cottage even when the hearthfire has not been tended. I’m doing better at that, and have so many people to thank for that.

Gratitude:

Beautiful days spent in the company of wonderful people.

The San Francisco Public Library’s ebook selection.

Classic movies.

Nighttime strolls.

Aloe gel (because I never do learn the first time).


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