Rain.

There are lots of great songs about rain. That’s even the name of one of them. Maybe I’ll make a rain playlist. But really, the rain is its own soundtrack, the uneven patter of larger drips from the roof overpowering but not entirely drowning out the steady but gentle beat on the sidewalk and street.

Most of the time, I find it soothing. Tonight, I’m not sure yet. I want it to be, but something is tugging at me, telling me I don’t get to have peace and calm. I haven’t earned it. And maybe that’s true. I’ve been shirking on my personal work, and haven’t taken great care of myself for a while. I hadn’t been called out on it until tonight, so I guess this is a confession of sorts, and also an apology. I’m going to try to get on a bit of a real schedule, make sure there’s Joshua time and friend time and me time. We’re coming into my favorite time of year in Maine, and I want to appreciate every moment of it, and not miss any opportunities for gratitude.

As I was writing, the rain tapered off to nearly nothing, picked back up, and has slowed again. There *is* something relaxing about it, even in the sounds of the spray sent up by the tires on the passing vehicles. I’m going to take that as a sign that I’m headed in the right direction.