Determined.

Hey kids. It has been one hell of a weekend, let me tell you what. I think I’ve kicked the plague, I cleaned and reorganized the kitchen, reconnected with someone important to me, didn’t read as much as I wanted, and slept more than I intended. It is what it is.

I’ve been experiencing a bit of cabin fever, I guess… Feeling a need to change everything, to start new everything, to do better at everything. Mental and emotional spring cleaning, was how I put it to a friend on the phone earlier tonight. I don’t know what’s “wrong,” per se, but I am not one to make one small change and see if it works – I need an all-out overhaul. So I’m doing it. I’ll probably slack off on most of the resolves by next weekend, but I know that right now, in this moment, I can’t take another day of being the me I have been for the past week, month, who knows how long.

The haircut was only the beginning, it seems.

Gratitude:

Music.

Friends.

Baseball season.

Inner strength.

The way I love. I’m good at it, dammit.

Huh.

I realized something tonight, and then spent some time reflecting on that realization, and then two hours of button-pushing and scrolling later, I was still only partway through the reflection and then a misstep sent me back to square one and I said eff it… But the initial thought remains, and I’m taking tonight to appreciate irony, parallels, and positive change.

May your weekend be full of productive reflection, as mine has already proven to be.

Gratitude:

The sweet and awkward new neighbor who helped me shovel Bessie out yesterday.

Bonding moments with Joshua.

My ability to read 100+ comments on a blog post and take away something positive, despite the flaming.

Feeling a little less like the undead.

48+ hours without obligation beyond keeping the living beings under my roof fed, clothed, and loved. I can do that.

Cryptogram.

I know most of you are nerds just like me, and you love all those newspaper puzzles that rely on your word love to solve. So, here’s the cryptic note my heavily drugged sick self sent myself as I was falling asleep last night to serve as a writing prompt. I have a vague idea where I was going with it, but I want this to be a sort of, build-our-own-adventure post. What thoughts come to mind when you read this? I’ll come play in the comments :)

“Leaving angry Ani behind us, resenting her for growing with us. Opposite rships; resent them when they don’t?”